Here We Go…Hey Y’all

Life, Self-Help, Insecurity, Falling down, Making your way to the top.

So I was thinking and going through all the writings I already have on paper to decide which one should be my first post.  Then I thought “By golly!” LOL <—– if I even pick one of these I will never get any followers, and they will know the true depth of my craziness without understanding why.  Now then, I know there’s about 3-5 different little areas here where your suppose to write “about” or “describe” yourself, but I know it’s a bit more complicated than that for me and you good people deserve a backstory.  So here we go!….. In the briefest way possible.  I pray I am able to connect with you and give you the hope, inspiration, drive, emotion, will, whatever it is by sharing! My name is Jordan(female here), I’m 27 years young, and pursuing the calling on my life.  I’m absolutely blessed to have the guy I do as my forever.  No really, I am! He should have killed me by now.  I’m difficult, abrasive, blunt, outgoing, stubborn, spoiled, and mean when Ohhhhh I’m in any shape, form, or space uncomfortable.  However, I do have my redeeming qualities, Such as: I’m loyal to a fault, kind, protective, big hearted, honest, real, a go getter, an awesome cook, superb advice giver, smart, loving, and weeeellll not too hard on the eyes.  I’m also very open minded and  non judgmental.  That’s ALOT coming from my upbringing folks! I blame all the negative traits and qualities on my heritage, and the fact that there are waaaaaaaayyyyy toooooooooo many offended people out in this big world today.  Anyhoo, I was raised in Southeast Georgia back and forth from a piss, poor, small town and Atlanta.  My mother is a bible thumping Pentecostal and my daddy AKA the sperm donor is a Southern Baptist.  I was raised between the two since an infant and I watched both my parents tear each other and themselves apart.  How? You wonder? Here’s a short list below:

  • Mom-Belligerent Nagger
  • Dad-Drunk
  • Mom-Classic Religitard
  • Dad-Cheater
  • Mom-Gold Digger
  • Dad-Habitual Drug User
  • Mom-Habitual Liar
  • Dad-Never Communicated
  • Both-Hypocrites-Talked about each other to their families
  • Both-Used me as their pawn from a very young age

So over the course of my early life they were married and divorced a total of 5 times……to each other.  I was an early bloomer and very promiscuous so I lost my virginity to a “good ole Christian Country boy” at a young age.  I rebelled as hard as I could against my mother, (that’s another for another time), started smoking cigarettes at 11, drinking at 13, drugs at 14, raped at 15, and that’s not all.  I got into a life altering car accident at the age of 16 where my “friends” left me for dead.  I was in a coma for a week, in the hospital for 3 months, and did rehabilitative outpatient therapy for an additional 6 months learning how to walk again due to the injuries I sustained.  Right after we moved back home and a few weeks before my 17th birthday I wound up pregnant with my firstborn.  Shortly after her biological father proposed to me and I said yes. LIKE AN IDIOT! Thankfully, we did not end up tying the knot.  I know he would agree with me on that too.   He became very physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive a few months into my pregnancy.  My pregnancy was high-risk and I left him halfway through it.  Then the stupid girl that I was let her hormones get the best of her and take over till she ran back to him…..THE NIGHT I WENT INTO LABOR.  My daughter had some medical issues at birth and was on life support for the first 72 hours of her life, she spent 2 weeks in the NICU, and is now healthy as an Ox.  I finally got my wits about me and left her biological father for good.  He never tried to have much interaction with her at that point in her life, and to be honest I never saw him taking an interest in her life EVER(or him growing up)… Until I got engaged.  Again another story for another time. SN: I’m not bashing bio dad here, I’m simply stating facts that happened at this current time in our lives.  To continue, I already had my GED, and had started college while working two jobs.  Yes I still lived in that some crap hole town.  Little did I know that later that year I was going to meet my husband.  One night at Fort Gordon, GA while my brother from another and I were shopping for his big party for his birthday I saw a handsome fellow, but couldn’t muster the courage to talk to him and introduce myself.  Oh my, but Arthur didn’t mind doing it for me! So he got my number and then proceeded to wait a WHOLE DAY to call me!  After 3 months of dating he flew me out to meet his family during Exodus and bamboozled me with a proposal and a wedding in his mother’s living room three days later.  We came back to Georgia, he finished AIT, and got order to Fort Stewart, GA (OF ALL PLACES).  We then started our new lives together.  I transferred schools and eventually graduated, we got pregnant and gave Savanna (our beautiful daughter) a baby brother.  We had our up’s and down’s, legal battles with Savanna’s biological father (Yet again, another story, another time), issues with each other’s families, and being a new couple, but we worked through it with God’s grace.  Mac was agnostic when I first met him and I with little effort converted him to Christianity.  We had a great church and stayed at Fort Stewart for 8 years.  When I say we had trials and tribulations, lots of adventures too, (That too, is yet AGAIN, another story for another time) let’s say we put the CAPITAL T in it.  This year Mac got orders to Fort Sill, Oklahoma.  Now before I get ahead of myself let’s briefly discuss that up until 2015, starting in 2012 I was a binge drinking alcoholic.  Anytime I had a sitter I was out getting drunk.  In February God slapped me over the so hard that my rude awakening was a total meltdown.  I was diagnosed with several medical conditions and my anxiety attacks were on like Donkey Kong.  I had a nervous breakdown due to many reasons not listed and had to pick up the pieces of my life.  I did that with the support of my Mac, my sister Tara, and God.  It was just me and God a lot, but he tends to give you people when you ask for help. 🙂  I couldn’t have been more excited, stressed, happy, terrified, ecstatic, sad, and emotional about the move.  After all, the farthest I had ever lived from Georgia was New Orleans, LA and we only traveled to Kansas City, Missouri side, when we had the cash.  I’m pleasantly surprised here. The weather is great, the humidity is barely recognizable.  The land is beautiful, there is so much more to do in the town we live in, and it’s much bigger.  The people though………It’s about 50/50.  Due to my multiple tattoos, partially shaved head, retro attire, and RBF as it has been aptly coined, I try to pay no mind.  Sometimes it’s blatantly obvious though, like when it’s your cashier at the check out line that refuses to utter a single syllable to you.  None of that matters in the long run though, we are called to be a light unto the world and shine for Jesus.  So for every single person’s darkness I can  illuminate then that’s a win! I have written here a brief account of some of the good and not so good things that I have endured over my short time here on Earth.  There is oh so much more that I promise to share with you, because I believe God uses our messes for other’s messages.  I know this is my platform and my duty is to help you find you and your happiness.  So until next time blessings always and may God’s favor abound you.

Peace & Love,

J

DISCLAIMER: I don’t care what your religion is, if you have one or not, your political affiliation, your sexual orientation, your race, your past, your present, what you have been through or are going through, your personal views, etc.  I WANT TO HELP YOU! I KNOW THAT I CAN BE THAT LIGHT FOR YOU IF YOU WILL SIMPLY ALLOW IT.